I ask my clients what things if you focused on them would give you the most bang for your buck. Below are two situations that I know if I focused on, they would in the long run give me the most benefits.
#1My attitude about my family (sisters, parents, relatives, and husband’s relatives)
I bring this up not to make anyone of them feel bad, because in essence just like anything else it is ultimately my choice in what I do. This is my problem. I need to make change for myself knowing that maybe long term the environment might change.
The big issue when it comes to my family is the thought of being different. I am also the baby of the family, I learned to follow the leader. So it is easier for me to just follow what everyone else does even though I spend the rest of the week in a tailspin with the emotional turmoil. Telling myself it is ok to be different with what I eat, how I exercise, what I bring to share with others, and what I get excited about is key to my success. In those situations I need to take the reigns and bring different foods for myself, say no politely to what is being offered, and schedule something that will get me right back on track after visiting (podcast, yoga class, journaling). Releasing the guilt that I feel for doing this. There is nothing to feel guilty about, because the choices are the best for me.
#2Schedule not going as Planned
I am a planner, have always been one. I function well on TO DO Lists, laid out details, and agendas. Most of the time these agendas are self developed. In the beginning of the day I lay out my day as I see the best use of my time. I have learned over the years to allow wiggle room for things that come up. There are many times where my plans do not go as I wanted to and I allow myself to get frustrated. It is more than frustration almost panic like. About 2 of the 3 times I allow myself to get too caught up and instead of taking a deep breath and just rethinking the situation I turn to food to calm myself down.
The change is my expectations. I found a quote that I now say regularly that is helping with this.“The more we try to control our world, the less control we have. The more we are willing to let go of control and simply stay present with what is, the more control we have..... When we feel out of control, it is usually when there is a conflict between what we think and what we feel... But our bodies, which are the storage units for our feelings, simply cannot lie. Whatever we feel in our bodies is our truth." - Judith Lasater
What changes will give you the most bang for your buck?